On in-person meetings
The power of shared air
Be it meeting a friend, a mentor or any personal or professional meetings - always try to meet them in-person (if you have the choice).
While there may be a lot of reasons to support my argument, for now I will stick to meditation. Specifically, a type of breathing exercise: Anulom Vilom (AV) a.k.a. alternate breathing exercise. (For the uninitiated, in this technique you have to breathe in and out from alternate nostrils, keeping the other nostril closed.)
It might sound a little off-track, but stick with me for 3 more mins, and you will know how AV led me to prefer ‘in-person’ meetings:
For context - after you spend a good number of hours (daily, weekly) performing AV, you slowly develop a sense of control over your breathing speed. And, once you are in control of something, naturally your awareness of that thing increases.
This is what happened to me. After doing AV regularly for months, I could feel my breathing speed increase when I got angry or disappointed with something or someone. Like PASSIVELY feel my breaths. Almost like a natural reaction.
(Confession: disappointments are common with me because I aim to be a perfectionist and sometimes lack sympathy)
One day, while observing my breathing style, I realized the following:
When I am sitting with someone, I am breathing the same air the other person is - maybe I am inhaling what the person exhaled (and vice-versa). Not literally, nobody is going that close. When I put it like this, it sounds unpleasant (to me, it did), but that is the EXACT reason why I prefer in-person meetings.
When you have the same air to inhale / exhale, a lot of things become neutral amongst your personalities. Physical presence in the same room, makes you sync with the other person unconsciously, in ways you would otherwise not realize. Things fall into a balanced state, and it becomes easier to get along. Humans emotions are contagious (as I read in the book, The Tipping Point). So, when you are in-person, your personal emotions don’t feel as sharp, they get distributed evenly. Ever felt light after meeting someone? That is what I mean when I say ‘balance’.
Think about meeting a famous personality - maybe a singer. Why do you think people are so crazy about the vibe of the concert auditorium? In my opinion, one of the reasons is because of the ‘air’. You become a part of that famous personality’s aura / circle by breathing in the same air.
While writing this, I remember one of the very famous content creators had invited our PM, Shri Narendra Modi, to her podcast. After the podcast got over, she wrote a thank-you note on LinkedIn with 4-5 take-aways from her meeting. One of the takeaways was: “When Narendra Modi entered the podcast room, the air in the room changed.”
See what I am talking about? Let me give you another example. If you are someone who goes crazy while listening to the lyrics of a song, this will be the perfect example for you. See this line, from the song, Ye Tune Kya Kiya:
“Meri baanhon ko teri saanson ki jo aadatein lagi hain aisi
Jee leta hoon ab main thoda aur”
The songwriter has expressed the familiarity the lover has developed with the beloved’s presence via saanson (air).
Does this make sense? The next time you get to choose b/w in person or virtual, I know you will make the right choice :P